jennifer Lynn*'s Journal [entries|friends|calendar] jennifer Lynn* [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

[06 Jul 2002|07:39pm] sorry adam i dont think my life revolves around online boys and especially not you because im over that bullshit and i have moved on.why dont you? by first why do you even read my journal?i definately dont read yours. i went out with charlie once and i broke up with him once not many times and i dont have a bad memory just didnt figure youd call an online dood your brother?...and what do you have beg mercy for? i dont hate you and if my hate is your energy you need up the dose on your medicines bud because i dont hate you..there are few people in this world i hate and you are not one of them so.. i hate to break your energy? hall of shame? intresting..if that makes you feel better about yourself but admit it adam..i hurt you..badly i think once you accept that youd stop being on the defensive. 5 ...

my response. [06 Jul 2002|04:07pm] [ mood | discontent ] [ music | save yourself ] yes you most definately should feel honored i sure as hell know i would be...i did change but i dont think i have to explain why i did or because of who i did. but i know that im not the one who has to forgive and forget you are..you didnt hurt me you dont effect me you never will. so get over it it happened last yr i dumped your clingy ass last year let go of it adam. not all girls lie..i didnt lie to you i got felt trapped with you. and i have a good reason why i break up with everyone. and who exactly is your brother? because i didnt know there was one? and did you ever think i get treated like that all the time i get used all the time but you only look at your dispostition and think of me as some horrible retched person when im the one constantly mistreated. ever think of that is why im the way i am? and no you cant judge me you never knew me actually barely anyone does. and i am good girlfriend material but i cant be a good girlfriend to people im not comfortable or happy with? and ive lasted with people irl and even a few on aol so dont go judging me from the aspect of the person you got when i was with you...and why do you say girls lie and when you are the one that faked your death and made a website about yourself? they were all lies...boys lie too...people lie adam get over it.. 1 ...

rofl adam and me's conversation... [04 Jul 2002|06:54pm] CynicaI Views: ah its chilly Iike fearless: nobody there to keep u company and warm, jenn? Iike fearless: too bad OnlineHost: XJaRuLeSAnGeL has entered the room. Iike fearless: u use guys like they are pairs of underwears Angered Geeks: pr mp3 Angered Geeks: ;\ private room ~> mp3 CynicaI Views: i dont use guys Iike fearless: riiight OnlineHost: X GaNqStA MaMi x has left the room. Iike fearless: uve a whole list CynicaI Views: please and i never used you Angered Geeks: pr noize Angered Geeks: ;\ private room ~> noize OnlineHost: Angered Geeks has left the room. Iike fearless: longer than u need tampons OnlineHost: Get Up Gurlie 69 has entered the room. Iike fearless: im just ur sex tool ;] CynicaI Views: because ive dated alot of assholes. Iike fearless: so does all the guys uve ever dated CynicaI Views: no one was ever my "sex tool" Iike fearless: ur not mature enough to face ur failure Iike fearless: ur mistakes OnlineHost: Xo xOxO143 oX has entered the room. OnlineHost: Get Up Gurlie 69 has left the room. CynicaI Views: i am Iike fearless: really? CynicaI Views: definately more mature than you Iike fearless: lol CynicaI Views: and i have faced my mistakes Iike fearless: im not the one whos dumpin one guy for another CynicaI Views: but i dont have to really answer to you CynicaI Views: Okay Iike fearless: who said u need to? Iike fearless: lol CynicaI Views: and ive changed? OnlineHost: Cherray Cola has left the room. Iike fearless: not interested into ur answers anyway Iike fearless: tell that to someone who cares a shit bout it Iike fearless: but it wont be me ;] CynicaI Views: rofl i dont care if you dont give a shit CynicaI Views: just dont accuse me CynicaI Views: to be someone that im not Teck kn0w: hm. CynicaI Views: when you dont even know me Iike fearless: lol im not accusin Iike fearless: just statin the facts CynicaI Views: yes you are Teck kn0w: jenn whats the problem where. CynicaI Views: no its not facts Iike fearless: obviously u cant handle the truth CynicaI Views: the truth? CynicaI Views: rofl you have to know someone Iike fearless: i dont want to know u Teck kn0w: rnd Teck kn0w: ??? ;x playing: Kelly Osbourne - Papa Dont Preach. CynicaI Views: to know the "TRUTH" CynicaI Views: oh but you did before OnlineHost: T a S c A 7st has entered the room. CynicaI Views: but you never got too Iike fearless: lol u faked urself CynicaI Views: i didnt fake myself OnlineHost: Wolf1554 has entered the room. Iike fearless: told me we share so much in common Iike fearless: made a trap and let me fell 1 ...

[04 Jul 2002|06:10pm] [ mood | numb ] [ music | save yourself ] there was a time when he loved me beyond his own comprehension...i tried to refuse it but couldnt deny the way i felt...now its gone..now hes gone..and im left only having memories.i cried my pain out but i know it wont be that easy ill still cry so many more for him but...hes gone..im gone..no more shall there be..pooh pooh and rooh rooh...the end. ...

hm [02 Jul 2002|02:01pm] [ mood | annoyed ] [ music | eve 6 ] i cant really say much because shit has been going on with only matt...that i dont want to talk about.its so hott ahhh its like 100 today ;[.... more people dont like me thats nothing new lol...i do that well. jordyn put a new layout on my journal..i know it looks hott ty hunni<33333 my icon on the other hand rofl thats sketchy...oh heres a conversation derek and i had a couple of days ago i didnt log it right than because i was lagging horribly.. Iost rayn: wtf CynicaI Views: hm Iost rayn: why did you tell randy that i was hitting on you.. CynicaI Views: i didnt Iost rayn: when i was with britt.. Iost rayn: well um CynicaI Views: i said we broke up CynicaI Views: and that was the end of it Iost rayn: then i guess he took it the wrong way CynicaI Views: he asked me Iost rayn: and said CynicaI Views: if that happened Iost rayn: "Jenn told me you were hitting on her while you were with britt" CynicaI Views: im like wtf him and i havent talked CynicaI Views: ROFL CynicaI Views: he wishes. Iost rayn: but from what ive seen it seems like hes a huge liar.. and just wanted to get back with britt Iost rayn: but ill question him.. CynicaI Views: i didnt involve myself CynicaI Views: i dont fuckin care who you are with or randy is with CynicaI Views: its none of my business. Iost rayn: alright i was just checking <33 CynicaI Views: yea rofl whatever pz Iost rayn: wth Iost rayn: why are you always so mean? CynicaI Views: its too damn late k? Iost rayn: whats too damn late? CynicaI Views: everything dont attempt to be my friend Iost rayn: why? Iost rayn: what the hell did i do to you Iost rayn: nothing.. Iost rayn: you have no reason to be mad at me.. its not fair CynicaI Views: life isnt fair. Iost rayn: Jenn why do you have to be like this.. Iost rayn: What logical reason do you have not to be my friend? Iost rayn: You broke up with me because you thought we worked out better as friends Iost rayn: then you dont even want to be my friend Iost rayn: and for what? CynicaI Views: no i dont Iost rayn: What did I do to you? CynicaI Views: nothing i honestly dont like ppl right now CynicaI Views: so bye. Iost rayn: ;[ Iost rayn: Alright. <33 CynicaI Views: no fuckin hearts. Iost rayn: yes fuckin hearts. CynicaI Views: no fuck hearts fuck ppl CynicaI Views: fuck love and fuck you. Iost rayn: whats wrong..? CynicaI Views: everything i need to go. CynicaI Views: just leave me alone Iost rayn: alright.. sorry for bothering you CynicaI Views: dont bother me again. Iost rayn: i just want to be your friend ;/ CynicaI Views: i dont want friends. Iost rayn: you need friends <33 CynicaI Views: no i dont. all i can say about thAt is hes very persistant he does not give up but i think i finally made him give up..welp good cuz pushing people away is what im good at ;l...cant help it just look at all the lovely guys in my life...its understandable. well im going to watch passions and wait for matt to come at 4<333 tell me why there is pleasure when theres pain ;\! ...

hmm [23 Jun 2002|01:35pm] [ mood | shocked ] [ music | nothing ] the man thats suppose to love me.....betrays me well than he doesnt. black fr0st: I wouldnt even belive a damn word Jenn or Angie says about jade.. Imm0rtal Fr0st: i dont black fr0st: good because jenn is just pissed off at her because im friends with her.. Imm0rtal Fr0st: who r u? black fr0st: Jenn's BF Matt Imm0rtal Fr0st: oh.. Imm0rtal Fr0st: ok cool... thanks black fr0st: she told me this on the fone.. that their gunna fuck with you and jade Imm0rtal Fr0st: they can fuck with us as much as they want, they wont get ne where black fr0st: shes like "Imma make mark break up with jade within 2 days" Imm0rtal Fr0st: nah.. its not gonna happen black fr0st: lets hope not because im friends with jade i dont want you guys to break up cuz jades happi with you Imm0rtal Fr0st: yeah.. black fr0st: just thought id tell you that Imm0rtal Fr0st: thanks black fr0st: later Imm0rtal Fr0st: peace 1 ...

[23 Jun 2002|03:04am] Dashboard Confessional - Screaming Infidelities I'm missing your bed, I never sleep. Avoiding the spots, where'd we'd have to speak and this bottle of beast, is taking me home I'm cuddling close, to blankets and sheets You're not alone, and you're not discreet You make sure I know, whose taking you home I'm reading your note, over again There's not a word, that I comprehend except when you sign it, "I will love you always, and forever." (Chorus) As for now, I'm gonna hear the saddest songs and sit alone and wonder, how you're making out but as for me, I wish that I was anywhere with anyone, making out I'm missing your laugh. How did it break? And When did your eyes, begin to look fake? I hope you're as happy, as you are pretending I'm cuddling close, to blankets and sheets. And I am alone, In my defeat. I wish I knew you were safely at home I'm missing your bed, I never sleep. Avoiding the spots where we'd have to speak. And this bottle of beast, is taking me home. (Chorus) Your hair. Its everywhere. Screaming Infidelities, and. taking Its wear ...

hm [20 Jun 2002|05:51pm] it took us 4 days to break up...now its completely over he can have whomever and do whatever in his life because im no longer part of it..as he wished..oh heres what jade IMed with me lmao...silly whore ;] Lil jadeberry: what the FUCK is your problem. i never cheated on mark with flip, not ONE FUCKIN TIME. why you gotta be a hater cause flip wanted to be with me, and matt and i are bestfriends. STOP FUCKIN RUNNIN YOUR GOD DAMN MOUTH. you told angie i told nick about her and rina, and now you tell ally i cheated on mark..FUCK YOU Those Kisses: you did do it its such a fact Those Kisses: dont lie because thats all you ever do face the truth for once jade Lil jadeberry: i NEVER cheated on mark, NEVER. we broke up alot and i mightve messed around with flip them but never when i was with him. Those Kisses: youre a whore stop cheating and lying because people do see through you and im sorry for the people that dont Lil jadeberry: THERE IS NUTTIN TO SEE THROUGH Lil jadeberry: how long has it been since we talked Lil jadeberry: you talk a WHOLE LOT OF SHIT for someone dont know anything Those Kisses: i dont count the months you are out of my life ' Those Kisses: no i know alot Lil jadeberry: EXACTLY MY POINT Lil jadeberry: how the fuck you think you know Lil jadeberry: you aint my god damn conscience, you dont know who i talk to, who i fuck, why i fuck, where i go, how my life is..YOU DONT KNOW SHIT JENN. so stop actin like you do Those Kisses: jade close friends talk...thats all im going to say and im sorry for mark poor thing has no chance with a lying slut like yourself Those Kisses: bye i dont care about anyone else but me ;]! 1 ...

my last words to matt... [16 Jun 2002|12:15am] Artist: Silverchair Album: Neon Ballroom Title: Miss You Love Millionaire say got a big shot deal And thrown it all away But, but i'm not too sure how I'm supposed to feel Or what I'm supposed to say But I'm not, not sure Not too sure how it feels To handle every day And I miss you love Make room for the prey Cause I'm coming in with what I wanna say But it's gonna hurt And I love the pain A breeding ground for hate But I'm not, not sure Not too sure how it feels To handle every day Like the one that just passed in the crowds of all the people Remember today, I've no respect for you And I miss you love And I miss you love I love the way you love But I hate the way I'm supposed to love you back and It's just a fad part of the teen, teenage angst brigade and.... I'm not, not sure Not too sure how it feels To handle every day Like the one that just passed in the crowds of all the people Remember today, I've no respect for you And I miss you love And I miss you love Remember today, I've no respect for you And I miss you love And I miss you I love the way you love, but I hate the way I'm supposed to love you back ...

[15 Jun 2002|06:28pm] this is the email he sent me...so i ended it Hey im going to work at 5 n i wont get home till around 1am cuz im tgoing to see a movie -matt 1 ...

who the fuck did he think i was? lmfao [14 Jun 2002|03:44pm] Those Kisses: hey StrokeMyLeezard: hi Those Kisses: how r u StrokeMyLeezard: alive. Those Kisses: whats wrong? StrokeMyLeezard: tired... didnt get enough sleep, and had too much to drink. this creates a shitty little hangover... nothin major. im just lethargic Those Kisses: no its only something you deserve StrokeMyLeezard: oh? StrokeMyLeezard: thanks. Those Kisses: well if you drank to much the bad hangover is your own fault StrokeMyLeezard: its not a bad hangover... im just out of it. StrokeMyLeezard: tired, from lack of sleep. Those Kisses: all still your own fault StrokeMyLeezard: nah, my brother thought it would be funny to wake me up. StrokeMyLeezard: knowing that i have trouble getting back to sleep. Those Kisses: what time did you go to sleep? StrokeMyLeezard: 530 Those Kisses: pretty late so its your fault for going to bed that late StrokeMyLeezard: youre just a bundle of fucking joy today. Those Kisses: oh i know StrokeMyLeezard: how are you feeling? Those Kisses: fine StrokeMyLeezard: sounds like it. Those Kisses: oh well thats good StrokeMyLeezard: whats on your mind? Those Kisses: nothing really StrokeMyLeezard: sounds delightful. Those Kisses: it tis StrokeMyLeezard: good. Those Kisses: yes StrokeMyLeezard: whatd you do last night? Those Kisses: i watched movies than fell asleep StrokeMyLeezard: good deal. StrokeMyLeezard: he still at your house? Those Kisses: no one is at my house StrokeMyLeezard: oh. Those Kisses: yea StrokeMyLeezard: no weekend plans? Those Kisses: not at the moment StrokeMyLeezard: why not? Those Kisses: hm not sure StrokeMyLeezard: too many sns :/ Those Kisses: yes i know StrokeMyLeezard: good. Those Kisses: i like it like that Those Kisses: not my fault im so creative. StrokeMyLeezard: creative.. yes. StrokeMyLeezard: aggravating... perhaps. Those Kisses: im aggravating of the fact i change my sns constantly is aggravating? Those Kisses: or* StrokeMyLeezard: the fact that you change your sns. Those Kisses: oh okay i was about to feel insulted. StrokeMyLeezard: why? Those Kisses: because i thought you meant i was aggravating Those Kisses: i was about to say k buddy i shall leave you alone. StrokeMyLeezard: lol, ok StrokeMyLeezard: you shall? lol StrokeMyLeezard: whats with the stiff speech? Those Kisses: yes shall is a very hip word. StrokeMyLeezard: mhm Those Kisses: its in for me. StrokeMyLeezard: gotcha. Those Kisses: damn straight StrokeMyLeezard: mhm. Those Kisses: yesx StrokeMyLeezard: im bored :/ Those Kisses: so am i StrokeMyLeezard: and i dont want to go to work. Those Kisses: someone went to mcdonalds 3 hours ago and was suppose to be back in a 1/2 hour StrokeMyLeezard: who? Those Kisses: someone lol StrokeMyLeezard: who? Those Kisses: someone StrokeMyLeezard: um, ok. StrokeMyLeezard: who was it? Those Kisses: someone StrokeMyLeezard: ugh, fck it. ok Those Kisses: okie StrokeMyLeezard: is that why theres no one at your house? Those Kisses: no StrokeMyLeezard: ok. Those Kisses: okay StrokeMyLeezard: so ya got a bf again yet? Those Kisses: no StrokeMyLeezard: y? Those Kisses: just donrt Those Kisses: don't* StrokeMyLeezard: i would hav efigured you would by now. Those Kisses: why? StrokeMyLeezard: old bfs n stuff resurfacing. Those Kisses: i guess StrokeMyLeezard: im just waitin for you to tell me you got back with him :/ Those Kisses: why do you care? StrokeMyLeezard: because i dont wanna see you get burned again? Those Kisses: adam...lol who do you think this is? StrokeMyLeezard: i cant even remember. Those Kisses: no who StrokeMyLeezard: i dont know. StrokeMyLeezard: i dont. StrokeMyLeezard: so tell me. Those Kisses: lmao than why were you speaking like you do StrokeMyLeezard: because i thought i did, but i was wrong. so instead of making a larger ass out of myself, im just going to stop. Those Kisses: no who did you think i was StrokeMyLeezard: too many damn sns, like i said Those Kisses: youre so damn difficult Those Kisses: bye ...

[11 Jun 2002|09:05pm] Matt and i broke up today. the end goodbye. ...

today... [09 Jun 2002|10:28pm] [ mood | grateful ] was an awesome day..and i dont know exaclty what to say...im very happy cuz its matt and is anniversary its been 1 whole month together and alot has happened and ive never felt better not only because i have this incredible person by my side..my life seems to all come together now and i still expect alot but he understands thats how i am and will always be..i know he cares for me and loves me more than life itself and i know that.he makes me feel needed and wanted and i guess no guy really does..im such a part of him and hes such a part of me 1 day without speaking at all were both going crazy..like we wont ever speak again and it scares me that soon he'll be gone..and we will barely speak but i know we can make it..right now im just waiting for him to get back from work..well i guess ill go..tyyl bye bye<33 jennifer lynn moniz loves matthew john guptail forever<33! 5.9.02 n forever ...

oh la la [06 Jun 2002|11:36pm] [ mood | anxious ] [ music | vanessa carlton ] school was intresting..graduation is tommorow...but not really my note for my comp waiver was approved so next yr no comp class for me yay ;D...ugh i have to fill in my sched for next yr a lil more i went to the sense field concert tonight it rocked oo i love them<33,,,,matt and i are going excellent as usual..we both really seriously do love each other and there is no breaking our love...i trust him with everything i got and have so much love for him anyones beyond belief...i talk to ben today it was strange but it didnt hurt...i do miss some parts of him but i am soon reminded what i left behind.well im going to bed now tyyl lata buh bye<333 i love you more than life itself matthew john guptail<333 1 ...

sorry [05 Jun 2002|04:50pm] [ mood | calm ] [ music | we fit together :D ] yeah i havent written in a long time i was having issues lol..irl ...still teachers are ruining my life so therefore i have to stay away from aol for a while..im around matt whenever hes around and thats all i really do...base my life on him so i dont get distracted from our relationship...we have to make this summer special cuz when he leaves for college we are going to stay together but we will barely ever talk.i like cry myself to sleep almost every night now..not b/c im sad but b/c ill soon be losing the only thing that makes me happy...which is him.hes so much more to me than anyone is...and like he said to me..i complete him...im finally complete with someone. hes everything to me..and i miss him right now ;o...it was seriously cute last night but we wont go there heh...OH YES HI GOOFY LOVER(even though youre broken up youre still in love with him) ;o..welpie im outtie buh bye<33333 i love you matthew ;D 1 ...

hm [01 Jun 2002|10:57pm] [ mood | stressed ] [ music | dont like the drugs(but the drugs like me)-manson ] alot of stress has been put on me irl so im just keeping away from aol bullshit..not worth my time..ugh ive been deciding heavily on my major so i can actually start seriously looking at college..i miss matt we've been having some problems but iunno i just want to be with him i know its right but not easy. oh well im going to go now buh bye<33 1 ...

lmao [24 May 2002|12:41pm] Ganqsta Wayz: heys its randy i want to send you something Ganqsta Wayz: and i want you to send it to allllllll your friends Ganqsta Wayz: ok?? thanks CynicaI Views: no. Ganqsta Wayz: just listen to it CynicaI Views: no goodbye. Ganqsta Wayz: send it to chris i mean jami, kayla, jami's gf Ganqsta Wayz: awww whats wrong Ganqsta Wayz: thanks CynicaI Views: im not sending it Ganqsta Wayz: aww whynot CynicaI Views: so you send it yourself or whatever now bye Ganqsta Wayz: aww you dont want to be my friend anymore CynicaI Views: no i dont i never was your friend in the first place. Ganqsta Wayz: thats right Ganqsta Wayz: you was inlove with me Ganqsta Wayz: great phone sex CynicaI Views: rofl that was before i found out Ganqsta Wayz: found out what? CynicaI Views: but now i know and im not you4r friend. Ganqsta Wayz: know what Ganqsta Wayz: tell me what you know Ganqsta Wayz: you dont know shit bout me Ganqsta Wayz: i aint no fuckin girl CynicaI Views: hah Ganqsta Wayz: do i sound like a girl NO Ganqsta Wayz: you need to be talkin to jami bout bein a girl Ganqsta Wayz: NOT ME CynicaI Views: haha i never said anything about being a girl "it" just assumed and got all defensive so guess what ;o...it is a girl ;D ...

boot boot ;o [24 May 2002|11:54am] [ mood | bored ] [ music | nothing ] iunno wth to think of people anymore really.Im really sick and i havent been feeling too awesome especially with the fact of my "Love" life.My ex bf who lives in ct is coming to ri for college so he will be here in aug. and im really excited about this. Ive gotten so sick of everything with guys.But last night i talk to flip on the phone..it was great and i realized how much i missed him.Hes so cute ;o..uh i had a chorus concert on wed it was good.we messed up a little and rushed the whole time that was are only problem. but otherwise we were great.when the band was playing i met this real cool kid hes the lead singer of one of our bands at my school is name is bobby and hes real cool. welp ima go now buh bye<3 ;] ...

ha ;o [21 May 2002|08:11pm] Jigga Jennifer: rofl ur weird ;o Viirgin pimps: im not wierd Viirgin pimps: im unique Jigga Jennifer: yup they say that to the kids on the small bus too. 1 ...

please dont comment ;o [20 May 2002|02:16pm] [ mood | cold ] [ music | incubus ] one of my favorites song..from way back when. Artist: Matchbox 20 Album: Yourself Or Someone Like You Title: Back 2 Good It's nothing, it's so normal You just stand there I could say so much But I don't go there cause I don't want to I was thinking if you were lonely Maybe we could leave here And no one would know At least not to the point that we would think so Chorus: Everyone here, Knows everyone here is thinking about somebody else Well, it's best if we all keep it under our heads I couldn't tell, If anyone here was feeling the way I do But I'm lonely now, And I don't know how To get it back to good Verse: This don't mean that you own me Well, this ain't no good, in fact it's phoney as hell Yeah but things worked out just like you wanted to If you see me out you don't know me Try to turn your head, try to give me some room To figure out just what I'm going to do Chorus: Cause everyone here, Hates everyone here for doing just like they do And it's best if we all keep this quiet instead And I couldn't tell, Why everyone here was doing me like they do But I'm sorry now, And I don't know how To get it back to good Bridge: Everyone here, Is wondering what it's like to be with somebody else And everyone here's to blame, And everyone here Gets caught up in the pleasure of the pain, Everyone here hides shades of shame, Yeah but looking inside we're the same, We're the same and We're all grown now, Yeah but we don't know how To get it back to good Chorus: Everyone here, Knows everyone here is thinking 'bout somebody else And it's best if we all keep this under our heads See, I couldn't tell, If anyone here was feeling the way I do But it's over now, Yeah I don't know how, Guess it's over now There's no getting back to good ...

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